Tuesday 19 February 2013

Diet Coke Detox

Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy...I haven't had a drop of diet coke in over two weeks.


Greetings earthlings, 

After finding myself guzzling the stuff on a daily basis and being pretty sure I'd bleed diet coke if I got a cut, I decided enough was enough. But my God was it hard. There are no nicorette patches for diet coke addicts, nothing but willpower and sparkling water.

Seeing as I don't drink coffee or tea I was dependent on diet coke for my caffeine intake. Any student knows that caffeine is right up there with oxygen when it comes to essentials. Because of the lack of caffeine once I stopped drinking it I was experiencing what I describe as 'guinea pig' headaches. Imagine a guinea pig is shoved into where your brain is supposed to be and it continuously jumps up and down. This is what a 'guinea pig' headache feels like. Why I choose a guinea pig I know not, but what I do know is that they hurt, a lot.

Another withdrawal symptom, the one that would probably be the most obvious to the on looker is crabbiness.
I.was.like.a.bull.
I was so knarky, everything and everyone annoyed me. Imagine a cheese grater grating on your bones, that is the way I felt about everything.
Why did I subject myself to these withdrawal symptons? Two words- kidney, failure. My sister had been reminding me of the ill effects of diet coke to your health, which include kidney failure. I guess it makes sense, I was pumping this sweetened posion into me and asking my poor body to make sense of it. Something it can do for only so long.




A knarky bull, sounds pretty rough right? It is. But, it gets better. After about 5 days I felt much better. However, getting through those five days is a lot easier said than done. Because of the headaches involved it can be a lot easier to knock a can of the good stuff back to ease your pain, after all, you have a life. This may be the tempting choice to make but if you suffer the withdrawal you will soon get to enjoy your new life post-diet coke.

Suddenly, the cravings are gone. The urge to run to the nearest shop and get ripped off for a bottle of the stuff are gone. And one of the worst things, the sugar cravings, are gone. I had heard that diet coke made you fat, I never believed this. I never believed this cause I used think 'how can a drink with only three calories in a 500ml bottle make you fat?!' Plot twist: its not the diet coke that makes you fat, its the sugar it makes you crave that makes you fat. Its only after giving it up that I realized how true this was. I used to crave sugar non-stop. I used choose a packet of jelly tots over a proper dinner, normal food just didn't appeal to me. Now however, I don't find myself wanting sugar has as much. Suddenly I want normal food, I even found myself sitting down eating an apple yesterday, something that would have been previously unheard of. I now find that sweets make me feel sick, I feel lethargic after them now so I just don't bother. Obviously I'll still have the odd treat at the weekend but on a whole what  I really want now is good food, because it make you feel good.

Another nice little bonus of life post-diet coke is the moola. I've saved so much money since I stopped buying it. I find myself opening my purse to see tenners that used to be fivers and 2 euro coins that used to be 50 cent coins, not the worst situation to be in.

Despite the fact that I am now free from my diet-coke induced aspartame and caffeine shackles, I still want the fizz. I love fizzy drinks, always have.. I blame my Mother, she craved sparkling water throughout her pregnancy with me and from day one I've wanted fizz. Don't worry, I haven't turned to Fanta or something similar to fulfill my fizz needs. I have instead turned to the miracle that is sparkling water. Whenever I want a bit of fizz I gulg back a bit of sparkling water and all is well.

For those of you that have glanced down at your ankles whilst reading this to discover that you too are wearing diet coke shackles, stop. Put the diet coke down my friends and its onwards and upwards from here.

(If you need an excuse, its lent, do it for Jesus)

Stay classy,

L xx 

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